Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in caramellover's LiveJournal:

Thursday, October 7th, 2004
7:03 pm	Unconditional Love I thought that love, unconditionally was something that everyone has with their parents and siblings. Through all the situations and trouble my family has gone through the one thing that has always been there no matter how badly anyone acts or treats someone is unconditional love. It amazes me that everyone doesn't have that in their family. All there is is my mom and her 5 kids, my stepfather recently joined the picture. But no matter what my Mom would go to blows over us, she quotes herself as a ride or dye mom, she'd trade places with us in any situation. I feel the same way about my siblings, I've kicked ass and gotten my ass kicked on behalf of them. My mom says that her kids are number one, then her religion, and then her husband. She believes it is her religious responsibility to put her kids above all. My thoughts have always been that unconditional love is not only natural, but it is biological. It is something needed to perpetuate our species. Maybe that is a sheltered thought. (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 18th, 2004
5:31 pm	Sub......Urban A lot is said about how great the suburbs are...how great it is to not have to live among the violence of the city and be exposed to the "evil" side of human nature. But what exactly is so great about the burbs? It seems to me that once you leave the city, you enter a false bliss...an area with playgrounds that have carpet and if someone falls on the ground, its a orange level emergency (making fun of the great american terror scale) and the child or adult must be shipped out to the emergency room to spend 300.00 for a band-aid; skin tone colored of course. Its a place where everyone is raised to believe that everyone is nice and that we should all go out, grab a tan, and eat some ice cream together. I guess I'm pretty annoyed because a lot of my residents were raised with the idea that evil shouldnt occur and that life is fair. hott dumb-ass ideas, anyone who belives either of these should have an anvil dropped on their heads. Life is not fair and never will be. Sometimes you win sometimes you lose. And evil, evil is as normal as good. We are all so socially trained that we've fallen into some retarded state of being that says that everyone should do good things and fight their instincts because we're humans and we know better...but why do we know better? I personally say and do what I want and when people don't like it I tell them to kiss my ass. Anyway...I'm not really awake and am writing out of anger from a loser resident who just woke me up with a dummy question....but with all of the oppression and danger that is accompanied with growing up in the city, I must say that it does truly prepare you for life. It teaches you that life simply isn't fair and that evil is as normal as anything else in life. What do we consider evil anyway? Is it something that endangers ourselves and others? Growing up in urban America allows you to see first hand, the injustices that actually occur in this country. Most of all I think that growing up in "the hood" allows you to just be yourself. I was watching Larry King interview John McCain, and when discussing the effects of the hip hop voting generation, he said that the black male was the most imitated person in the United States...and that he hopes that black men vote for Bush so that everyone can imitate them. Actually that statement has nothing to do with this post, I just found it entertaining and wanted to close with it. Think this post doesn't make much sense? Kiss my ass, I really don't give a damn! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 2nd, 2004
9:10 am	Peety, the magic time machine. One of the greatest things about being me is that I am the proud owner of a magical time machine. This time machine allows me and only me to have a brief lapse in judgement, go back in time and repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Whether its a situation with a girl, a situation with a girl, or a situation with a girl, my time machine never lets me down. Usually after a voyage in "Peety", I go back to my room, sit back and wonder why do I keep putting myself through this. Usually no one else gets hurt in the process, so after a few hours of self loath, I accept my trips into the past and go back to the following those great catch phrases...you know, "life is life" and "shit happens". Oh wait theres another great one, "The heart wants what the heart wants". I recently took Peety around the block and the trip was very different. Two things really stand out about it. First, it involves another person. Secondly, I have no feelings of guilt or remorse. There is absolutely no bitter regret or moral anguish anywhere in my mind. So, my question is not why do I keep taking "Peety" out for a spin. No, my question is why do I no longer feel regret? Why is it that I can live with doing something wrong and absolutely not care about the possible outcome? Am I just another participant in the old technique of self sabotage? Or have I just reached a point in life where I'm tired of being used by others because I'm a nice person...and now I'm hell bent on revenge?! Whoa a lot of issues just came out in a few paragraphs. Someone start the seance and get Freud, Jung, James, and Pavlov in here. I think I have some issues! (3 Comments |Comment on this)